ChrisCam

There are some things that it's just not cool to tinker with.

Bond is one of them.

NO, YOU CANNOT MAKE HIM BLOND. YOU CANNOT EXPLAIN WHY BOND DOES NOT HAVE DEEP RELATIONSHIPS WITH WOMEN. AND YOU BETTER DAMN WELL NOT TAKE AWAY GADGET-MASTER Q. YOU BASTARDS.

End rant.

A little boy rounds the corner, talking earnestly to his friend.

"I just really wish that the whole school was a trampoline right now," he says wistfully.

That would be AWESOME.

THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT.

I NEED A VOTE.

I'm choosing what to wear to Patti's wedding. I'm trying to choose the daring one, so that's the one I'm showing you. It's not me--it IS Carrie Bradshaw.

I need YOU to tell me if I can pull it off. I am unshowered and unmakedup this picture--it was an early morning. And I wouldn't be barefoot/in yukky shoes. So just the dress--can I pull it off? Answer honestly! Tell me! I'm counting on you...

Lord knows what I'd do without fashion conscious friends and technology:





What do you think?

"So. I made out with a really ugly chick last night. Hahahahahaha. Miss you!"

Miss you too, Vac! Hahaha.

By fourth grade, most of them have learned to be at least slightly PC, so a lot of the funniest kids quotes I'm hearing are out of the kindergarten and second grade classes of my roommates.

While climbing on the ropes on the playground, one of the kindergarteners slips. "Oof," he says. "I punched my weiner!"

Helpfully, one of the others pipes up, "You didn't punch your weiner, you fell on your weiner!"

A little girl comes running up to the teacher clutching herself. "I think I have a splinter in my vagina!" she squeals. "Can you check it for me??"

"Nurse! Go to the nurse!"

I am getting PAID to do this job. Some days I remember to think about how incredibly lucky I am.

Like when we played "Heads Up Seven Up" today. I got my thumb pressed a lot and only guessed right once. I haven't honed those skills since 6th grade!

Like when we had a kid upset today and she couldn't calm down until I was there talking to her.

Like when the classroom dog started barking during a game and the kids laughingly said that he must be afraid of the teacher because he listens so well. He replied, "He damned...I mean he better be!" to a chorus of delighted squeals and yells from the kids about the teacher using a "bad word."

When you talk to people about their school memories, it seems that often it's the one mean thing someone said to you in third grade that sticks most, while the happy memories blur and dull into a vague contentment. I wish I could remember some details of my 4th grade experience better, and I hope for most of my kids this year will stand out as a happy one.

Today I took cold medicine during the day in an attempt to banish the stuffy nose and sneezing I had going on. I was hoping to be able to lean over kids' papers without immediately having to blow my nose. Instead, it knocked me out. Non-drowsy my ass! As I mentally slumped to the floor I looked helplessly at John and made some weak arm motions that probably vaguely pantomimed sleep. "Lie down. If you can get that far, go nap on the nurse's cot. Or go home!" My head hit the desk and I was out for 15 minutes until I heard little voices concernedly saying, "Miss K doesn't feel well!" and roused myself. I spent the rest of the day with the sneezy feeling but unable to sneeze, so if that's the best meds can do, no thanks! I think bed early tonight, yah?

After work I headed to the library to pick up Pomegranate Soup for reading and discussion on WRWF. I also did a little research and basically pretended I was a student for two hours or so, which was great fun.

"A year from now you may have wished you started today." Karen Lamb
"You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation." Plato
"Let us be grateful to people who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom." Marcel Proust
Love!

Driving home after dinner on Saturday night with Mark, I took the long way by the water. We're driving with the lights from the shore reflected in the water, a few quiet swans drifting out there, and all of a sudden AAAAAAAAAAH slam on brakes and pull over. Galloping down the middle of the road are two dogs, a white and a black lab. The car behind me swings into the other lane, narrowly avoiding crashing into the black one, and keeps going. Mark and I leap out of the car and call the dogs. They are tail-waggingly friendly, soaking wet from an apparent dip in the Sound, and obviously having fun on this exceedingly dangerous joyride. When I call at them in sweetest puppy voice, "Whitey" came running over, wagging her dripping wet tail. I grabbed her collar and handed her to Mark. While we were talking to her sister, the black dog kept running and took off down the road. She swerved into the street, running on one side until a car speeding around the corner almost clipped her and she switched to the woods side, where a car zooming up from behind almost got her. I don't love dogs quiite enough to run down the middle of the street myself on a Saturday night when it's dark and people have been drinking, so I was sprinting down the shoulder waving my arms and screaming at people to slow down while calling her. I saw behind me that another car had stopped to help Mark with the big white dog who was jumping around excitedly (and wetly!). I cooed to the dog and she stopped running, standing warily in the middle of the road ready to bolt. I stood still and talked to her, frantically waving cars around her. Suddenly, we both heard the unmistakable sound of a ball bouncing. Another guy had seen what was happening ahead and pulled over, jumping out of his car with the lacrosse ball. The black dog crept to the side to investigate the ball while he and I tried to move her away from the road. An oncoming car's warning honk made her jump and run back into the street, right in front of it barreling down on her. Three cars almost had an accident as they swerved around her crazily and she dashed from side to side and the man and I screamed frantically at the cars to slow down and at her to come. One of those cars pulled over, and a woman in scrubs jumped out with her dinner in one hand and a leash in the other. With chicken nuggets, we again lured the pup to the side of the road and the three of us hemmed her in away from traffic, pushing farther into the rushes and tall grass, but we were afraid to try too hard to grab her lest she spook. Suddenly I heard Mark's voice yelling, "Are you ok? The owner's here!" and a panicked Mommy voice yelled out, "Liberty! Libby, baby, come here!" and the dog took off and went right to her. Mark had read the number off the white dog's tags and called their home, while the other guy who'd stopped with him owned multiple dogs and had quickly calmed white pup down so Mark could call.

It would have been a really crappy story if either dog had ended up getting hurt, but they both turned out just fine, and Mark and I were pretty happy with ourselves for the rest of the night! Their Mommy was beside herself that so many people had stopped to help, the dog-lovers all stood around and grinned at each other saying "Thanks for stopping!", and we all tromped back to our cars.